Strengths and Weaknesses of Your Mentoring Style

Tools for Feedback and Self-evaluation in Mentoring

  • How do you evaluate your performance as a mentor?
  • What are the criteria?
  • Where does the data come from?
  • Why would you attempt this exercise?

 

Styles of mentoring dependent upon:

  • Temperament
  • Perception of what mentoring involves

 

Temperament

Use DISC as a heuristic for thinking about mentoring styles and DISC

D style I style S style C style
Qualities DominantDirect/directive

Decisive

Determined

Demanding

Doer

 

ImpressiveInspiring

Interactive

Impressionable

Impulsive

SupportiveSteady

Stable

Status quo keepers

Shy

ConscientiousCompetent

Careful

Contemplative

Critical

Cold

Strengths Ability to see critical issuesHelp others stay on task

Facilitate problem solving

Draw out best in others

Focus on goals

Get to the point

 

EncouragementHighly relational

Fun to be around

Grace-givers

Help others see big picture

Creativity

Good listenerGenuine care for others

Keep commitments

Sensitive to relational issues

Intuitive

Excellent at planningGood memory

Reliable

See contrary perspectives

Thorough

Weaknesses Poor listening skillsInsensitivity

Offend unintentionally

Difficulty seeing details

 

Listening superficiallyDivert attention to self

Forget details

Emotionally reactive

Sacrifice honesty for harmonyLose sight of big picture

Overly cautious

Unwilling to challenge

 

Not very relationalMiss emotional cues

Get bogged in detail

Low creativity

 

Others may see HarshPushy

Dominating

Severe

Tough

 

ExcitableEgotistical

Reacting

Manipulative

Talkative

ConformingAwkward

Dependent

Slow

Reserved

DisapprovingStuffy

Indecisive

Moralistic

Picky

You see DecisiveIndependent

Efficient

Practical

Determined

StimulatingEnthusiastic

Dramatic

Outgoing

Personal

SupportiveWilling

Dependable

Reliable

Agreeable

ComprehensivePersistent

Orderly

Serious

Industrious

Growth points Learn to listen; be patientDevelop greater concern for people

Focus more on personal relationship

Be more flexible

Learn how to be emotionally supportive

Explain ‘why’

Be more vulnerable

Be less impulsiveBe more results-oriented

Control reactions/emotions

Give attention to details/facts

Slow down the pace

Listen more deeply

Talk less

Be less fearful of what others may thinkBe more direct

Pay attention to task

Face confrontation

Be more decisive

Increase pace

Take initiative

Learn to say no

Focus on effectiveness as well as efficiencyRespond more quickly

Trust your intuition

Explore beyond facts

Look ahead

Develop relationships

Be more open/flexible

 

Perception of what mentoring involves

Basic Process Stages of Mentoring

Reflection

  • Accountability
  • Discernment

Preparation

  • Encouragement
  • Planning

 

Styles along continuums

Group feedback identified several of these continuums:

Transitional (change-agent)

Strengthener (nurturing)

Individual

Group

Being

Doing

Support/comfort/pastoral

Challenge/disturb/prophetic

Informal

Formal

Remedial

Results

Relational

Functional

Generational

Peer

Short term

Long term

Specific

Holistic

Learning

Healing

Contemplative

Action-oriented

 

Self-Evaluation

Knowing your own temperament and that of your mentoree, and having a clear idea of what you’re trying to achieve in your mentoring will guide you in identifying the aspects of your mentoring that you want to monitor for quality and effectiveness.

 

Qualities of relationship

Arguably, there are certain qualities desirable in mentoring relationships that transcend style boundaries.

Even so, there are some qualities that will be of greater interest than others for each of us.

Here are some qualities to consider:

  • Intentional – clarity, structure, intensity, continuity
  • Empowering – prayer, affirmation, respect
  • Unique – listening, creativity, adaptation
  • Authentic – love, honesty, integrity

 

Sacramental        Grace is conveyed

Purposeful           Growth is pursued

Adult                    Maturity is respected

Personal              Uniqueness is affirmed

Expressive          Feelings are explored

Responsive         Hearts are engaged

Accepting           Reality is acknowledged

Accountable       Progress is mapped

Liberating            Freedom is guarded

Protected            Confidentiality is maintained

 

Group feedback listed these qualities:

  • Intentional
  • Adaptive
  • Integrity
  • Honesty
  • Developing
  • Sacrificial
  • Safe/trusting
  • Empowering
  • Vulnerable
  • Empathetic
  • Challenging
  • Mutually rewarding
  • Committed
  • Hopeful
  • Confidence building
  • Insightful
  • Sacramental
  • Risk-taking

 

Mentoring is a relational process involving multiple behavioural functions.

Norman Cohen says mentoring requires:

  • a relationship emphasis to establish trust,
  • an information emphasis to offer tailored advice,
  • a facilitative focus to introduce alternatives,
  • a confrontation focus to challenge,
  • a modelling process to motivate and inspire, and
  • a visioning process to encourage initiative

 

Skills

Depending on your style of mentoring, certain skills may be more relevant than others. You should identify the ones that you think are most crucial and seek to improve those skills for the sake of your mentorees.

  • Asking good questions
  • Listening
  • Giving feedback
  • Self-disclosure
  • Clear thinking
  • Emotional connection
  • Spiritual discernment
  • Memory
  • Confronting
  • Encouragement
  • Applying scripture
  • Prayer
  • Clarifying issues
  • Identifying options
  • Recommending resources
  • Self-awareness
  • Cultural sensitivity
  • Spiritual discernment
  • Capacity to see the positive
  • Keeping track
  • Light-heartedness
  • Reading body language
  • Self-care
  • Referral
  • Inspiring to action
  • Appropriateness
  • Invoicing

 

Notes from Mentors Forum 2012, Rick Lewis

  • 30th May, 2012

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