by Janet Woodlock
Ah, the internet! It is a glorious way to find information in seconds that used to involve hours scouring through journals in libraries. (I’ve just outed myself as an old person to all you digital natives out there!)
The internet is also a fabulous way to become completely confused over masses of conflicting information. Continue reading “Mentoring, Coaching, and Confusion”
Mentoring Christian Leaders for ‘who they are’ so they can ‘stop well to go well’
A video recording of the “Passing the Baton” mentoring seminar has been made available from the sessions held at the Compassion Australia offices in Newcastle on 28th & 29 June, 2018. Continue reading “‘Passing the Baton’ 2018 Mentoring Seminars with ACMN founder Dr Keith Farmer”
By Rick Lewis
Exercising Caution Around Goal-Setting
Both the process and the outcomes of setting goals in a mentoring context can be powerful. But that does not necessarily mean goal setting is always a good thing. Continue reading “Setting Goals in Mentoring”
By Rick Lewis
I’m not a great fan of pigeon-holing people according to a pre-determined stereotype. Humans are endlessly varied and it’s always a good approach to try to clear one’s mind of preconceptions and listen closely to an individual to discover who they are in all their uniqueness. Continue reading “Sub-cultural Themes in Mentoring”
by Allan Cleanthous
If your mentoree who is a Christian leader asked for strategies to prevent burnout, what would you say? Here is one attempt at an answer…
by Rick Lewis
Mentoring with young adults will commonly address three major areas:
- Identity: ‘Who am I?’
- Worldview: ‘How does the world work?’
- Maturity: ‘What does it mean to be an adult?’
Listening in different ways: How conversations move in a mentoring session
By Tim Dyer
By Monica O’Neil
Dark: the colour of my disorientation, the cloudy mood in our car, the sky outside, and my fear of
losing our way. I was tired, with a car full of very little people who needed to be in warm beds. My husband and I were driving in unfamiliar Albany, a small country town in Western Australia’s Great Southern Region. Well, he was driving and I was navigating. Normally we are a crack team at this as I’m good with maps in any direction and he drives well. However, the town had recently installed a vast number of roundabouts. What they had not yet installed was any directional signage. Google maps didn’t exist. Juggling a tiny torch and trying to scan for bearings that night was beyond me. I was crumbling. I couldn’t see the way for all the roads.
The exit options on the roundabout were sometimes two, sometimes three, four or five. It seemed they presented themselves too fast and in the darkness they were no longer hopeful roads that
might lead to a warm room and bed, they were purveyors of panic!
The points of decision were coming at me too fast and with limited visibility, both inside the car and
out, I transformed from ‘Supernavgirl’ into a sobbing distraught blob despairing of ever seeing a
warm bed for my children ever again.
If only I’d had a mentor with me right then.
Maybe the conversation and actions that evening evening would have gone like this…
‘Let’s pull over to the side of the road and pause. And let’s do that at each turn if needed because the pause will give precious time for clarity and wisdom to emerge. Let’s take the time on the side of
the road to do the tricky work of translating the landscape we see and the map we have, in the light
of the destination we have in our mind and heart.’
I might have been reminded that navigating relies on several things including, but not limited to:
- Getting accurate bearings for where you are. Max De Pree says the first task of leadership is to define reality.
Getting clarity about the destination. If there is no destination that matters, perhaps any
road really will do. If, however, it does matter it holds us to course and all recalibrations are
A knowledge of possible routes and the markers indicating when each choice must be made.
Sometimes its tiny side exits that confuse. If we can note their presence we can ignore them when they come into view.
Observation of the conditions to be encountered. Are the roads sealed, flooded, or
potentially blocked by a rock fall? Is the only route risky and what can be done to prepare? Is there a safe option which is only a couple of kilometres longer?
I know it’s a metaphor, but a metaphor lets you and I translate it to our mentoring context. I’m
proposing that one of the things we offer as a mentor is a metaphorical pitstop, a side of the road
moment. That pause on the side of the road helps to define reality, to clarify or re-clarify the desired
outcomes and to recalibrate their journey in a space of quiet peace and wisdom.
“Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were
not seen.” Psalm 77:19
By Sally Jones
The focus of a good mentoring relationship is always on the formation of the mentoree. My role as a mentor is to come alongside them and equip and empower them to move towards achieving their goals, and when I do that in a session I aim to give them my undivided attention. One of the things that my mentorees often say they appreciate the most about mentoring is that it is the one relationship where it is actually okay for it to be all about them – what they need to grow, what they need to focus on to be who God has called them to be. However as I journey along with them, there are actually a few things about myself that I need to be attending to!
The one question I regularly ask myself is this: What do I most need to be fully present to my mentorees?
The answers to this will be many and varied depending on the context, but I want to suggest they need to include:
Preparation time – mentoring takes much more time than the actual session. Have I allocated adequate time in my diary for any reading, researching, thinking or any other preparation I might need to do? Have I completed any commitments I may have made to my mentoree in the last session? It’s pretty obvious when a mentoree has hurriedly thrown together (probably just before they arrived!) something I asked them to spend time reflecting on – and it will be just as obvious to my mentoree if I have done the same.
‘Transition’ time – how busy are the 30 minutes before a mentoring session is due to start? We all have busy lives but it’s important to allow ourselves space to transition from the space of phone calls, emails, meetings, battling the traffic, putting the kids to bed, etc., to the mentoring space. As far as possible, I need to attend to the things which might distract me from being fully present. I find the key to this is finding a quiet spot, being still, and spending some time in prayer – for my mentoree, for myself and for the upcoming session.
Development time – what skills do I have which might need sharpening? Are there areas of development or issues arising in the lives of my mentorees that I need to be learning more about? When was the last time I went to a workshop or conference to add to my knowledge and experience? Being intentional about my development and growth as a mentor enables me to give my best to my mentorees.
Self-reflection time – as I journey with others in their spiritual formation, am I making a priority of my own formation and growth? Who is asking me the kinds of questions that I am asking my mentorees? Who is speaking into my life, encouraging, equipping and empowering me? We cannot give to others what we do not have ourselves. Time spent focusing on my relationship with God will enable me to do the same for others.
What items would you add to a self-check list for mentoring?